Successful Parents vs Non-Successful Parents

Have you ever wondered what it is that some parents do to succeed in raising happy confident kids that other parents don’t do resulting in kids who struggle?

Parents with more than one child can tell you what works with one child doesn’t necessarily work with the other.  So, it stands to reason that there is no straight forward strategy with a one answer to fit all.

However, there are strategies which when applied work with all children despite their age, temperament, personality or sex.  Furthermore, if they strategies are absent in your parenting style regardless to how devoted you are or how hard you try raising happy confident kids will be a struggle.  A struggle you shouldn’t have to endure.

These strategies are:

  1. Develop Empathy:  Be aware of your child’s challenges.  Walk in their shoes don’t dismiss what worries them as trivial concerns.  Feel their anguish and support them as they learn from their experiences.  Let them know you really do understand and care.
  2. Make Time:  It’s not how much time you spend with your kids that counts. It’s the quality of time spent that matters. When you are with them attentively listen to them. Block other matters you have cramped in your head out. Kids know when you are listening to what they have to say and when they believe you are really listening to them without judging them they will open up to you. This is what builds a close relationship with your child.
  3. Give Unconditional Love: Unconditionally love them. Not for what they do but for who they are. Good bad or indifferent. All kids at one stage or another rebel and do crazy things that may press their parents’ hot button.  This is the time you need to have control of the way you respond to their behaviour.

Whilst these three strategies appear simple to apply, they aren’t.  Some of the reasons being

  • Parents have so much pressure in dealing with their own challenges that they can become overwhelmed when their child comes to them with what appears to be another problem.  It’s natural to sometimes not want to know and underestimate the concern and the challenge the child is experiencing.
  • With regards to making time, well another huge as. Some parents often make the mistake of believing that they need to spend a lot of time with their kids and some parents do this.  However, to spend lots of time without it being quality time is a waste of time.  Re assess the quality of the time you spend with your child it will pay big dividends in the future.
  • It’s easy to show love to a child when they are doing all the right things however it’s natural to get upset and react when a child is defiant, rebellious or just plain disrespectful.  To show unconditional love can be a huge challenge for parents.  One way of overcoming the urge to over react is to remind yourself that your child is not their behaviour and that the behaviour they are demonstrating is an sign that they have challenges that they cannot handle.

I know there is an overwhelming supply of advice to parents on How to …… your child, however the one secret I want to share with you about successful parenting is for the parent to be in control of their own emotional state. A parent owes to himself or herself to understand how to take control of what happens to and around them.  This control once discovered, will transform your home and work life. For more information click on the banner below

Best Working Mum