happy working mum

Have you ever had days when you couldn’t do anything wrong even if you tried?  Then perhaps on other days no matter how hard you tried to get things right everything went wrong!

What’s the difference? You are the same person with the same skills so why do you produce fantastic results one day and dismal results the next?

The Answer:  it’s theneuro-physiological state of mind you are in.  Your behaviour is the result of the state you are in. You can be in an enabling state of mind or a paralysing state of mind. Enabling States are resourceful states being;

Confidence, Love, Inner power, Happiness, Determination, Joy

these tap great personal power.

And then there are Paralysing States which are un resourceful states those being;

Confusion, Depression, Fear, Anxiety, Stress, Sadness, Frustration and Anger

that deplete you and leave you powerless.

If all behaviour is the result of the state we’re in, we may produce different communications and behaviours when we’re in resourceful states than we will when we are in an un resourceful state. Understanding state is the key to understanding change and achieving excellence.  A state can be defined as the total sum of your experience at any given time.

Most of our states happen without any conscious direction on our part.

How we create our states and behaviours: Internal Representation; We see (picture in our mind) or hear (what and how we say and interpret) or experience something and we spontaneously respond to it by going into a state.

For example, you have experienced a bad day resulting in you feeling sad and somewhat depressed. (That’s a paralysing un-resourceful state) then a friend unexpectedly drops by with flowers and a bottle of wine and you smile and start to feel happy. (that’s a resourceful state).

So, what happened that made you change your state?  The friend, the flowers, or the wine?

In a way, perhaps all three, but the more accurate answer is; you changed your internal representation of what was happening.  In an un resourceful state what happened on an un unconscious level was; you internalized and replayed in your mind the bad experience of the day, couple this with your self-talk reinforcing that what happened was bad.

However, when your friend turned up your internal representation was interrupted and now your internal representation was replaced with an enabling state of happiness, joy and excitement.

Another example:  Your partner for a week comes home late from work.  You have dinner prepared and are anxiously waiting for him/her.  Your internal representation of him/her coming home late can be either a Resourceful State or an Un Resourceful State. Let me expand on this; Let’s say it is an Un Resourceful internal representation.  You start to picture in your mind him/her being outenjoying himself/herself with another person your self-talk reinforces how bad that is because you are there waiting with dinner ready. Depending on your relationship your self-talk may start to have you believing that he/she may be having an affair.  Now I’ll ask you; What is your behaviour likely to be towards your partner when he/she walks through the door???

Now let’s look at a Resourceful State:  Same Scenario your partner for a week comes home late from work.  This time your internal representation of him/her coming home late is you picture in your mind him/her being tired and overworked, your self-talk reinforces how good he/she is to be dedicated.  I’ll ask you the same question:  What is your behaviour likely to be towards your partner when he/she walks through the door?

Sometimes awareness is all that is required to make changes in your life, changes that will empower you.

Developing your Emotional Intelligence is the key to learning skills and strategies that will assist you with understanding and taking control of your thought process, and control of what happens to and around you.

I invite you to claim your FREE copy of the E Book or Podcast The Power of Emotional Intelligence

Best Working Mum

This book is a road map to guide you along your journey to self-empowerment. Put yourself in a resourceful state and be proactive by claiming your copy NOW!

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Click the above banner or visit http://www.boundlessparenting.com/power-of-emotional-intelligence/ to claim the Free eBook.